With increasing tensions at work and with greater expectations of lasting romance at home, relationships nowadays are challenging for almost everybody. Acquiring a better understanding of where your mate is coming from will surely make your relationships easier. Increasing tolerance for our differences doesn’t imply passive acceptance of a problematic or emotionless relationship. Rather, a healthy adaptation is based on true insight that helps us to understand our mates better and react in ways that are more loving and will inspire the better in them.
Without the awareness that we’re supposed to be different, men and women are at odds with one another. We commonly get angry or disappointed with the opposite sex, as we have blocked this crucial reality. We expect the opposite sex to be more like ourselves. We want them to “want what we want” and “believe the way we believe”.
We erroneously assume that if our mates love us they’ll respond and behave in particular ways—the ways we respond and act when we love somebody. This position sets us up to be frustrated over and over and keeps us from taking the necessary time to communicate lovingly about our differences.
Men and women commonly are unaware that they’ve dissimilar emotional needs. As a result, they don’t instinctively understand how to support one another. Men typically provide in relationships what men want, while women provide what women want. Each erroneously presumes that the other has the same needs and wants. As a consequence, they both wind up dissatisfied and resentful.
Next time you’re frustrated with the opposite sex, recall men and women are different. Even if you don’t recall anything else, remembering that we’re supposed to be different will help you to be more loving. By gradually giving up your judgments and blame and persistently inviting what you want, you may produce the loving relationships you wish, require, and merit. You’ve a lot to look forward to. May you go forward to develop in love.